June 21st 2016
I went into the other room around midnight to put my head down for a few minutes.
I slept for about an hour and then I heard a door close, it woke me up.
I went back into your room and took up position on the other side of you. Daddy was already there.
I sat there for what felt like forever and no time at all. Your breathing was raspy.
I know now from all the books I've read about death, that this is normal.
The death rattle.
I know this now, but I didn't know that then.
Nobody tells you these things.
Nobody tells you this is normal.
And then just like that, you took your last breath.
And just like that, you were gone.
Not many people ask me about the day Emma died. What happened in those moments? We don’t talk about death so I had no idea what it would be like.
I was terrified. I thought the walls of the house would crumble around me. I thought the world would stop.
But it didn’t.
Life outside our home continued.